So a distraught Nigerian lady , said to be 21 , has found herself in a really disturbing situation – according to her friend , who shared her story with us, this lady , who has been dating a guy for months now, found out by his friend , that he’ s a married man.
“I met this cute adorable guy and we started dating it few months now… and I noticed his behavior when he travels that he hardly pick my calls and I complained about it but he always tell me he ’ s in a meeting or court . After some time , while i was cleaning his place , I saw a pic of him with a lady in a wedding grown, I was confused because he never told me he was married but only about his ex -girlfriends . So I asked him if he was married when he return from work but he said he isn ’ t and when the pic was showed to him he said that his cousin mixed the pic cause he ’ s into graphics and he ’ s still learning that I should look very well at the pic then I will know it ’ s fake . . he got emotional saying that his cousin uses his pic most times and that he ’ s been warning him about doing such .
When I was still doubting it , he showed me another pic with another lady which the cousin also mixed like a traditional wedding pic so it was easy to believe him … . .few days after this, his friend came visiting , (that ’ s my boyfriend ’ s friend ) and spent the night , the next day my boyfriend traveled leaving me with his friend . His friend was supposed to leave that day too but didn ’ t leave , he started telling me how he ’ s sexually attracted to me and that he can ’ t help it that he wants us to have sex… .I boldly refused him saying how much I loved his friend and wouldn’ t want to betray him , at some point he stopped disturbing for a while and as we kept talking and getting to know each other, he disclosed to me that my boyfriend was married with kids .
At first it was difficult to believe cause he looked too young to be married left alone with two kids but he showed me the pic and video of his family and said he didn ’ t want to lie to me that truly my boyfriend was married . I broke down emotionally . .how could he look at his wife pic and still deny her ? He got uncomfortable with my behaviour and left , but before he left he told me that he too was also married and I should take it easy when confronting my boyfriend that he must have had a good reason to keep it away from me because he’ s bin telling him how much he loves me.
My supposed bf is coming back soon I don ’ t know what to say or do to him . Please I need your advice .
Good morning … . According to her the guy even promised to take her to see his people. My friend has been crying since yesterday when she called me to come visit her . Can ’ t even leave her cause I fear she might hurt herself .
The only reason why her boyfriend told her about it was that she was too faithful and had plan of settling down with the Guy … . .it was difficult for him but he felt bad for my girlfriend because she was too deep in the relationship without knowing the truth and he also told her she ’ s too young to worry about relationship . My friend is 21 and this is her second relationship she really wanted it to be the last . I don ’ t even know the right advice to give to her right now . Please help her.
Dear reader, My name is Elvis, please i want you to look at this situation that I’ve found myself and tell me if I’m wrong:
I got a house for my girlfriend out of my parent’s house just because I wanted us to have our privacy before we get married. I am always going there to spend the night most times and she did not tell me that her mother is very young and beautiful; a single woman.
But one day I went to “our house” and she introduced me to her mum, the woman really liked me. But I didn’t know that it’s not just like, but love. One day my girl was on night shift in the hospital where she works and her mum called me around 7:30 that I should come to the house that she wants to see me before she goes back.
I went and she told me the house is bored, that I should spend the night with her and stay till my girl is back in the morning so we can both take her to the park to return to Asaba.
I agreed and in the night she woke me up from the chair and asked me to join in her bed…
My heart skipped but she said no problem she just don’t want me to have neck pain by sleeping on the chair till morning. I followed her to the bed and in less than five minutes she has taken off her wrapper and was with me under the blanket. I understand what she wanted and by looking at her bare body I was already in the mood, so I slept with her, like 3 times before morning and I even enjoyed her more than her daughter.
When she left, my girlfriend was angry that I spend the night in “our house” with her mum without telling her but I told her it was her mum’s idea and that I did not complain since her mum told me that I would stay till she got back from work. I lied to her that nothing happened, that’s my mistake.
The mum called me after last Christmas and told me that she was pregnant for me and that we should tell my girl so that her daughter can “cry small and then look for another man”. The woman wants to marry me.
My girlfriend is aware now and she is cursing me, threatening my life.
But is it my fault? Please I’m confused, what should I do ?
My mum still thinks that I’m a virgin. I overhead her while she was advising my younger one in her bedroom. If only I could reverse time…
Here’s my story and a very brief history that should give you a picture of the kind of family I come from.
I come from a christian home with very religious parents, I’m the 3rd out of 4 children. My dad (he’s late now) was a serious member of the “die by fire” group of worshipers, and my mum, a children teacher in a famous Bible believing church. We were all brought up to fear God, and to live by example. I remember doing evangelical exercises with my friend back then in secondary school during the break period. I even preached in the bus on my way to school. I kept distance with the girls, and will not socialize much so as to avoid temptation. They complained I was too shy, and during camp meeting in school then, when boys and girls begin to mingle, I was either on my own or with my close friend discussing the bible. People will tell my parents that I was the pastor in our family and things like that. I too loved it, and I can remember dreaming and telling myself that I was going to get married being a virgin.
But things changed, so fast than I could imagine in that aspect. I’m still a quiet good guy (if I’m to access myself), I’ve learnt to socialize a little, but guess what; I’m no longer a virgin. I lost it 8 months after I graduated from secondary school. Worst still, I did it with someone 4 years older than my elder sister (our 1st born). I was 16+, she was 23. She lured me to her house that day and took my innocence. Not as if I didn’t know something wasn’t going to happen, at least I suspected it. Prior to that incident, she was always being nice to me whenever we cross paths..
Okay, now I’m in my early 20’s. I traveled home from school for the Xmas break and one of the days I was going to get something from my mum’s bedroom, when I overheard my mum advising with my younger sibling who is yet to enter the higher institution about associating with the opposite sex. She was using me and the others as point of reference that we are all well spoken off outside and are still virgins.
VIRGINS ? Well.. I don’t know about my elder sis and my elder brother, but me, a virgin? I felt like I’ve let her down. I just tiptoed to my bedroom and began to reflect on myself. I’m not a player, but besides that girl who broke my virginity I have had a few more affairs, all are my seniors with significant age difference except for my present girlfriend who’s just 6 months older.
I can’t tell my mum I’m not a virgin, she’ll feel terribly bad..And it’s not Nigerian to discuss relationship matters with your parents, religious once for that matter. I have a few friends and they all think the same. Some say I’m shy, I act like slow poison, I pretend, I’m a pastor, I’m a nerd and jibes like that. But I’ve done things crazy things, I’m no more the guy who always dreamt of getting married a virgin and now I don’t pray to marry a virgin either, I don’t even deserve one. I think virgins should get married to virgins, IMO.
No much regrets though, but if I could reverse time, I’ll not loose my virginity at 16 (it doesn’t show I was breed from a God fearing family), I will loose it now, at least I’m way older than then.
A Zimbabwean pastor’s wife, who has gone seven years without sex, couldn’t withhold her emotions when she appeared before a court and accused her husband Petros Tshuma, a pastor with Zion Grace International, of starving her since 2010.
Instead, she says he sleeps with other women from his congregation.
“Your worship, I’m sexually abused by this man as he last had sex with me in 2010. If I ask him about the issue he would promise to make up for it but when it’s time for sex he simulates sickness then claims to be feeling pain in his stomach,” she said.
Mary Ngwenya added that her husband would also claim his testicles were swollen but had other partners to sleep with as she literally pleaded for sex in front of the magistrate.
“What I know is that he enjoys sex with three ladies from our church. I have WhasApp text messages to prove that.
I’m a human being. I don’t survive on Bible verses and I need my husband to sleep with me. Now I lead a pretentious life telling the women I lead that I’m enjoying my marriage while I’m sex starved,” she said in between sobs.
However, Tshuma admitted the blame.
“I love my wife but I have a problem, when I engage in sex my stomach starts to twinge as a result I feel an intense pain and due to that I had to stop. It’s not true that I’m in love with other women. My wife saw text messages from the women who wanted counselling on their marriages, due to that she quickly concluded that I’m in love with them,” he said.
The judge Masuku ordered Tshuma to have sex with his wife and not to emotionally abuse her.
An under-aged Boko Haram abductee who recently gained freedom from the sect after being used as a s*x slave for years has narrated her turbulent ordeal.
“I told my baby, ‘If you were alive I would never leave you. I have no choice, please forgive me’.” Those were the chilling words of Amina (not real name), to her 28-day old son, who allegedly died in her hands, minutes before she fled through the vast Sambisa forest, in a desperate bid to escape the outlawed terror group, Boko Haram.
Recounting her experience, Amina, aged 20, told an online news portal, The Mirror that the memory of her tiny baby’s body lying lifeless in the dust at the base of a tree in Sambisa Forest tortured her intermittently having been held captive for five years by the group.
But with her baby just 28 days old and very sick, it was too late for him (the baby) to survive the harsh environment in Sambisa forest as he took his final breath in her mother’s arms.
“I couldn’t hold down the tears as I saw my child lifeless and about to be abandoned,” Amina, who explained, recalling with nostalgia that she was snatched away from her parents at the age of 15.
Irked by this development, Amina resolved not to go back to her demented captors; since she did not know what lay ahead.
Speaking further, Amina said she, “left him under that tree, hoping on some irrational level it would protect him. His remains are probably still there.”
For obvious reasons, it was gathered that Amina’s case draws references to the myriad of other young girls, who by virtue of similar situations, also found themselves in such peculiar state as only a mother truly terrified and desperate could do such to her baby.
“I was forced into marriage three times, and had a child with each husband,” she tells me, when we meet in Muna refugee camp in Maiduguri, the region’s capital.
When I sit next to her it has only been five weeks since her escape. Fiddling nervously with her hands, Amina explained that she was visiting her elder sister in her home town of Baga in Borno State when a car stopped and 10 Boko Haram fighters jumped out.
“They were purposefully hunting for girls to kidnap,” she explains. When she protested, they beat her to a state of unconsciousness.
When she opened her eyes, she was in the Sambisa forest, an area three times the size of Wales, as she said: “I found myself in a mist of 200 women.”
Recalling further, she said at least one of the girls was a Chibok schoolgirl as they became friends. She is, to her knowledge, still there.
“She was also forced into marriage and has a child. She is very unhappy, her husband has two other wives senior to her and they don’t give her food. She is hungry, and he beats her,” she said. Amina was immediately forced into marriage with a 40-year-old Boko Haram brute.
“They put a gun to my head. There were women who had refused. But they were tied up and r*ped,” she said. Her husband was vicious.
“He dislocated my arm,” she recalls. She was of course, r*ped repeatedly. Within a couple of months, she was pregnant. Just four days after the birth of her son, now four, her husband went with the terror group to attack a village and was killed. Amina, who said she was forced to marry again, said: “The second man was 50, he would beat me too.
When I refused sex, he locked me up.” The s*xual assault on her resulted into another pregnancy. And yet again, seven months into her pregnancy, this man was killed in a village attack. She gave birth to a little girl, now three, and with little time to recover was again forced to marry, to a man in his late forties.
“Almost immediately, I was pregnant again.” Traumatised, the only time Amina smiled was when she speaks of her children. She explains although their fathers were evil, she had never struggled to love them as she stated: “They are all I have. It does not matter.”
It was perhaps this fearsome love which gave her the courage to flee. Her chance came when her husband got into a fight with another terrorist, while the community was distracted and eventually she grabbed the kids, ran for five days and was drinking from puddles all through.
She believed her baby died of starvation as she had no breast milk to give. Finally last month, she reached a roadside in Maiduguri and begged strangers who offered to help.
But the case of Amina and her child remains a touchy one considering the fact that prior to her escape, the Nigerian Army on December 20, 2016, made an incredible breakthrough against Boko Haram, rescuing 1,880 women and children held by them in the Sambisa Forest, and arresting 504 men.
Though her grief is overwhelming; the emotional scars remains a lifelong as Amina said she was yet to begin the counselling offered by aid agencies like UNICEF, despite revealing that tests showed that she is HIV positive.
Most of the time, according to reports, she still looks numb as she tries to hold her slim body still, perhaps due to the self-training which she got over the years of abuse to try to be invisible. There is no expression on her young face.
This is because her body begins to shudder with gutteral, primal, sobs once she talks about her baby. Thankfully, her parents have survived and are also there, along with her sisters, her sisters though happy, are more wary.
“They insult my children,” she says, sadly. While expressing shock over the kidnap of 276 schoolgirls from their boarding school in Chibok in April 2014, UNICEF child protection worker, Labaran Babangida, said the youngest escaped captive he has met is just 10.
“She was repeatedly r*ped and because she is very small she now cannot control her bladder,” he says.
“We cannot find her family.” Another girl, Aisha, who I meet in Maiduguri’s Dalorie refugee camp, was 13 when she was snatched.
Now safe, she is 15, with a seven-month-old baby, Fatima, on her knee – her captor’s child. “He forcibly used me,” she says, embarrassed.
“I was confused, I didn’t know what was right.” These girls, especially the young ones, are regularly used by Boko Haram as suicide bombers, too. Just two days after we leave Maiduguri, two girls believed to be seven or eight detonate bombs in the town’s market killing themselves, one other, and injuring 18.
On the part of Amina, she was never forced to do this as she claimed that said she knew those girls who were. “One told me she had been told to carry a bomb to a market,” Amina recalls. “I told her ‘Run away, think of the elderly, the children you would kill.
And she did.” However, Saturday Telegraph learnt that 30 girls like Amina have arrived the Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) camp in the past two weeks.
Interestingly, the camp holds over 40,000, is one of 18 in the town, and over 40 across the region with over two million persons already displaced by the terror group.
For many Boko Haram captives, reunion is difficult. Families are suspicious of the girls, they see them as tainted, their children as evil.
They also fear they are on a mission to detonate bombs for the terrorists. Commenting also, the Chief Child Protection Officer for UNICEF, Rachel Harvey, said the girls often suffer PTSD. She said UNICEF educates hostile communities too, stressing that: “People believe the babies of Boko Haram could grow up to become a threat. I have heard of babies being killed.”
According to her, Amina is a woman crushed – but not quite, I think, broken. She said Amina is “stubborn” but confessed that: “I don’t want to marry again, I want to be alone and with my children.”
A man who could not resist his aunt because of her amazing body and the great s*x has landed in trouble after impregnating and secretly marrying her.
This is my story!
She came to my house all sad because my cousin left the house. My mom had to leave and my aunt decided to stay with me. So I comforted her and then out of no where she starts kissing me and my aunt is only 29. I kissed her back as well cause I mean she’s hot.
Then, she tells me she wants me.
That aroused me so hard. I grabbed her and got her n*ked. She unzips my pants and of course gives me head. I enjoyed it and we did have s*x but protected at the time.
Then she told me she wanted to marry me and even left her boyfriend (not my uncle they were divorced) and I left my house later that month and she bought me a ticket in another country.
We talked about it at her house in that country and we decided we were gonna have a kid of our own too and we were gonna get married .
That night we had s*x and it was amazing and it was unprotected and I did get her pregnant. We secretly got married a month later.
No one knew we were family. But, I don’t know if it was wrong of me and I’ve never told my parents about it. I love her a lot and she’s great and is caring and always supports me and she’s amazing because she gives me awesome s*x as well and never lacks on that. This isn’t a made up story cos I’m 19 now.
Must I tell my family about this affair? What do you think?