My mum still thinks that I’m a virgin. I overhead her while she was advising my younger one in her bedroom. If only I could reverse time…
Here’s my story and a very brief history that should give you a picture of the kind of family I come from.
I come from a christian home with very religious parents, I’m the 3rd out of 4 children. My dad (he’s late now) was a serious member of the “die by fire” group of worshipers, and my mum, a children teacher in a famous Bible believing church. We were all brought up to fear God, and to live by example. I remember doing evangelical exercises with my friend back then in secondary school during the break period. I even preached in the bus on my way to school. I kept distance with the girls, and will not socialize much so as to avoid temptation. They complained I was too shy, and during camp meeting in school then, when boys and girls begin to mingle, I was either on my own or with my close friend discussing the bible. People will tell my parents that I was the pastor in our family and things like that. I too loved it, and I can remember dreaming and telling myself that I was going to get married being a virgin.
But things changed, so fast than I could imagine in that aspect. I’m still a quiet good guy (if I’m to access myself), I’ve learnt to socialize a little, but guess what; I’m no longer a virgin. I lost it 8 months after I graduated from secondary school. Worst still, I did it with someone 4 years older than my elder sister (our 1st born). I was 16+, she was 23. She lured me to her house that day and took my innocence. Not as if I didn’t know something wasn’t going to happen, at least I suspected it. Prior to that incident, she was always being nice to me whenever we cross paths..
Okay, now I’m in my early 20’s. I traveled home from school for the Xmas break and one of the days I was going to get something from my mum’s bedroom, when I overheard my mum advising with my younger sibling who is yet to enter the higher institution about associating with the opposite sex. She was using me and the others as point of reference that we are all well spoken off outside and are still virgins.
VIRGINS ? Well.. I don’t know about my elder sis and my elder brother, but me, a virgin? I felt like I’ve let her down. I just tiptoed to my bedroom and began to reflect on myself. I’m not a player, but besides that girl who broke my virginity I have had a few more affairs, all are my seniors with significant age difference except for my present girlfriend who’s just 6 months older.
I can’t tell my mum I’m not a virgin, she’ll feel terribly bad..And it’s not Nigerian to discuss relationship matters with your parents, religious once for that matter. I have a few friends and they all think the same. Some say I’m shy, I act like slow poison, I pretend, I’m a pastor, I’m a nerd and jibes like that. But I’ve done things crazy things, I’m no more the guy who always dreamt of getting married a virgin and now I don’t pray to marry a virgin either, I don’t even deserve one. I think virgins should get married to virgins, IMO.
No much regrets though, but if I could reverse time, I’ll not loose my virginity at 16 (it doesn’t show I was breed from a God fearing family), I will loose it now, at least I’m way older than then.