Category Archives: RELATIONSHIP TIPS

MEN BE CAREFUL…..THIS ARE 4 WAYS WOMEN CONTROL MEN (WITHOUT MEN EVEN KNOWING IT)

Women are excellent at getting shit done. And one of the most effective ways that we’ve learned to accomplish our goals is by manipulating men into doing what we need them to do. If you want to appreciate the full strategic power of the female will, here are 4 ways that women subtly control men without the men ever realizing it…

1. Women treat men like children.

Do men sometimes act like children? Totally. But that doesn’t mean that women should reinforce that behavior by pandering to it. When a woman reacts to a grown man like he’s a seven year old, she might feel frustrated, but, in reality, she’s trying to force his hand or force the outcome that she wants.

If a woman can’t trust her man enough to let him do the grocery shopping or fold the laundry, it’s not that he CAN’T do it. (He’s a grown-up. He can.) She just wants those tasks done EXACTLY how she wants.

So rather than just leaving him to his own devices, she steps in, which, ultimately, makes more work for her and reinforces the guy’s suspicions that he can’t even accomplish basic tasks on his own.

The woman controls the situation, but prevents it from ever improving. It’s a vicious circle. Women need to realize that four of the most controlling words we can say are “I’ll just do it.”

2. Women get QUIET.

Women are ninja masters at this. If a man is frustrated and wants you to do something, normally, he’s going to just come out and say it. He might yell, he might whine, but, however he does it, men often have a hard time keeping their inner desires INSIDE. They want them to be expressed so they express them in the bluntest way possible.

Women, on the other hand, take a different — and probably WAY more effective — approach. We go silent. We stop talking. We get distant.

Women will often justify those cold silences by saying “I needed some time” or “I was processing things,” but, by refusing to engage, it leaves our men thinking “WHAT? What did I do?”

Those silences can get so uncomfortable that men quickly will do almost anything to end them. “Do you want me to admit I’m wrong? Change my shirt? Start going to the gym more? SAY SOMETHING!”

By refusing to express what we want, women make men almost desperate to comply with our wishes, if it will only mean that the silent treatment will end. It involves next to no talking and it’s staggeringly effective.

3. Women flatter men.

Flattery is a useful tool to control most people, but it works particularly well on men. It appeals to two separate but powerful aspects of being a man — that men are raised with the (unrealistic) expectation that they can do anything AND that men are rarely complimented (beyond a stoic “Good job”).

But a woman’s flattery overwhelms both of those conditions with pandering and praise. “Honey, I’m not good with technology, can you figure out this remote for me?” “Babe, can you load up the car for me? The suitcases are so heavy and you’re so good at getting everything in there!”

Granted, some of those compliments might be genuine, but it is still a form of control. The woman wants something accomplished, so she lavishes her man with praise, letting him know that he’s the BEST at doing whatever she wants done.

It’s probably not true. (She’s a grown woman. She can figure out a remote.) But the flattery is a proven way to get the man to do what she wants, so why not use it?

4. Women compare men to other men

This kind of control technique is frequently used in parenting, but it’s actually much more effective when the involved parties are older. It’s the classic “look at that nice boy” strategy. A parent might use it to shame their teenager into working harder at home or academically.

“Look at Linda’s son, he has a 4.0 grade point average and works at the nursing home after-school every day!”

The grown-up version of this occurs when a woman is unsatisfied with some aspect of the man in her life, so she openly starts making unflattering comparisons between her guy and other men in their lives.

“Bill just got a promotion… Roger is building that whole addition by himself… Rick goes to the gym 5 times a week and he loves it, never complains…”

Statements like that not only shame her man into action, but they also prey on the man’s ego. Because it’s not just simple nagging. It’s saying “this other man is CLEARLY superior to you.” That can kill a man’s sense of self-worth and drive him to fight backagainst the comparison.

These techniques are undeniably effective, but they beg the question — Is it worth manipulating and toying with a man’s ego just to get him to take his shoes off when he comes in the house?

Because being controlling isn’t always a good thing. Women need to realize that “with great power comes great responsibility” and, when possible, we should try to be open and direct with our men. Treat them like equal partners and see if you can compromise to get what you want from them.

And if that doesn’t work… control away. (He won’t even know it’s happening.)

Guys & Ladies Read 3 Reasons Why Online Dating Can Be A Terrible Experience

​There is no harm in connecting with people on the internet but especially looking for someone to date is not a very cool idea, as common as it has become. It is, indeed , convenient and saves a lot of trouble of actually going out and socializing but it is not the best idea, certainly not because everyone is doing it.


1 . Potential Liars :

Let ’ s face it ; more than half of the profiles on dating sites or other socializing sites are either fake ones or handled by liars who are ready to make up all sorts of lies to look good to the person they are trying to impress.

Half of them are either just scam willing to waste your time and the other half do not really put any thought into the future meetings, they only seek to impress. Women and men, both , tell lies but about different things that turn out to be trust- breaking in the future .

Low salary or more weight are not what disappoint people , it is the lying that turns them off. So potential liars are the first reason why online- dating can be a terrible experience

2 . The Long Distance Thing:

Imagine you liked a guy who lives in Canada while you live in USA ; not even in a different state but in Canada . You go bonkers over not being able to meet him and it kills you because he seems like the perfect guy.

You agree to take on a long- distance relationship but for how long? There have to be some meetings, otherwise it is almost impossible to keep track of each other ’ s lives . What if they have another online friend just like you?

What if they are not able to reach their phones all the time? Just imagine the pain of knowing someone so good exists but in a land far away.

3 . We Try Not To Be Ourselves :

This is the worst possible thing about online dating . The fear of not being good enough for the person with interesting hobbies makes us fake ourselves . We try to be someone we are not and not only does that make us insecure but can be a problem when our real self comes out.

We fail to see that being the perfect person for a date is not the goal ; being yourself is what you need to do and see if the other person likes it .

A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, read how to avoid heartbreak in relationship

1. Not all relationships must lead to marriage. Some relationships are for a reason, others are for a season only few are for a life time. If it doesn’t work out don’t kill yourself because it was for something. Discover the purpose and move on.

2. Don’t give a man or a woman the totality of your heart before giving the totality of your heart to God. Love that person but put God first.

3. Don’t get carried away with beauty or money, if that person’s inner person cannot keep you, his money or her beauty cannot either.

4. Love is never enough, understanding, compatibility, wisdom, patience, trust, tolerance and commitment are equally important.

5. When the negative signs are more than the positive signs. It is better to withdraw your heart before it gets ‘broken’.

6. Extreme jealousy is the quickest way to break that relationship.

7. Don’t demand trust, earn it or build it or show it.

8. Never you compare him or her to someone else.

9. Your relationship should not only be marriage driven but care, love and concern driven.

10. Don’t marry him or her because you saw him or her in church. Many are in church but not in touch with God. It is not WHERE you meet, but WHO you meet that counts.

10 THINGS LADIES DO WHEN THEY VISIT A GUY THEY DON’T WANT TO SLEEP WITH

There is a reaction to every action; most ladies are naturally cautious and it would be a lie to think most of them do

not think or assume men would want to sleep with them the very first time they visit them.

As a result of this, women also devise methods that would protect them as much as possible so the guys would not sleep with them on the first date. Having s*x may be inevitable in that relationship at the long run, but women are able to prolong the abstinence for as long as possible when they do take certain steps.

Find below some of the things ladies do when they do not want a guy to sleep with them anytime they go visit them:

10. Keeping the door opened

Ladies sometimes are on the defensive side and ask men to open the door to their rooms so everyone could see what is happening in the room.

To an extent, ladies feel comfortable this way as they know it is near impossible for the guys to attempt being funny or try to have sex with them with the door wide opened.

9. Wearing tight clothes

Another thing ladies do when they go visit men in their houses is to wear tight clothes that have restrictions. It would be pretty difficult getting them out of the cloth and it would give them enough time to allow sanity creep back in peradventure they got carried away.

8. Red flag shows up

Ladies know that men do not like hearing the fact that the red flag is on. Most men would be irritated seeing the blood bank of the girls when they want to sleep with them.

It is a natural turn off for men so ladies use it as a weapon and say they are on. Some even go on to wear pads just to prove it is real.

7. They would have a friend with them

Ladies do not like visiting men for the first time alone. They would rather go with one or two friends that would help them break the tension that could be around the place.

Having one or two other girls in the room apart from the main girl visiting would spoil the show for the men. Ladies can be sure nothing would happen then.

6. They avoid sitting on the bed

Many ladies avoid sitting on the bed when they visit men as they feel they are falling into a trap. The bed makes them more cautious and to avoid being tempted or lured into doing something they do not want to do at that moment, they would rather sit on the chair.

5. They receive calls at intervals

When ladies feel like they have stayed long enough in a place, they start to receive calls that would make the guys feel they need to be on their way. Some even become apologetic on the phone to make the guy feel they have to go somewhere immediately.

In some cases, girls put their friends up to this and make them call them at intervals just to prevent the guy from launching his sex idea on them.

4. They focus on something

Another thing ladies do when visiting guys in their houses is to concentrate on doing a particular thing. Some place all their attention on books while some watch movies and do not give the guys the time to want to get personal with them.

3. List of house chores

Ladies avoid having sex with men they visit by coming up with the excuse of leaving for their own house. Usually, the guy would try to persuade them and they would come up with the annoying list of things they need to do at home before their parents or guardians get back.

2. Stories that touch the heart

Sometimes, ladies cook up all sorts of stories that would make men pity them; they talk about how they have suffered one or two forms of abuse in their previous relationships. They act traumatized and this would naturally throw the men off balance.

It would after all be inappropriate for the guys to want to try anything funny after they have heard their heart touching tales.

1. They act edgy

Sometimes, ladies deliberately put up an edgy front when they visit men in their houses. They act uncomfortable and would be cold towards the guy till they leave. Men sense their defense and aloofness and would rather leave them alone till they adjust.

REASONS WHY WOMEN WALK OUT OF A MARRIAGE

​They say marriages are made in heaven. But on Earth every person is only human and are bound to commit mistakes, as the flesh is weak they say.

 

In India at least marriages come with a lifetime warranty. Till death do they part, literally.Divorce is a recent trend, a trend which has been on the rise. There can be various reasons for getting a divorce. It could be the husband’s mistake. Or maybe he didn’t pay enough attention and that made her move away from him.Here are some reasons why women walk out of a marriage. 

Reasons why women walk out of a marriage are: 

1.Lack of emotional bonding: One of the primary reasons why women walk out of a marriage is lack of emotional bonding.Women need to feel that emotional connection and only that can lead to love or intimacy. 

2.She Doesn’t Feel Loved Nor Desired: Every human being wants to feel loved and desired. It is but natural that a woman expects the same from her husband.But when her needs aren’t met it will make her walk out of the unhappy marriage. 

3.He Has An Addiction: Addiction is one of the major reasons why women get a divorce from their husbands.Drinking or smoking occasionally isn’t a problem but indulging in it,day in and day out causes problems for the whole family.Substance abuse is another reason why women walk out of a marriage.

 4.Financial Insecurity: Women often walk out of marriages when their husbands lose a job or lose their entire savings in the stock market.An unstable financial situation causes women to panic and they go forth in search of greener pastures.But times have changed and women nowadays work and earn on their own. Marriages that are based upon understanding survive,others will end at the local court.

 5.Physical And Mental Abuse: Women are known to handle extreme physical pain and mental stress. But if they are pushed to the limits they will walk out of the marriage. Physical abuse is one of the main reasons why women divorce their husbands.

 6.Infidelity: Infidelity or cheating is a major cause for divorces. It is the same for men and women; they just cannot handle the truth that their partner’s wavered. More than the physical part they are often shocked that their partner betrayed them emotionally. Women are known to be more forgiving. Even then there are exceptions and infidelity has caused women to walk out of marriages and get a divorce.

14 ways to keep your relationship strong

​We’ve all heard that a relationship “takes work,” but what does that mean exactly?

 

Frankly, it sounds like drudgery. Who wants to spend hours at an office only to come home to job number two? Wouldn’t it be more pleasant to think of your relationship as a source of comfort, fun, and pleasure?

Of course it would. That said, here are some basic fixes if things feel stagnant, if the good times are becoming few and far between, if arguing is your main form of communication, or if you just feel that you need a tune-up.  And they might even be enjoyable.

1. Don’t argue over money : It’s practically a guaranteed relationship killer. If you haven’t yet had a conversation about how money is earned, spent, saved, and shared, do it now.  Try to get an understanding of how each of you sees your financial life, and where the differences are. Then address them.

2. Try not to focus on trifles : Is it worth fighting about? More to the point, is it really a trifle? Often a seemingly minor issue is a manifestation of a larger problem. Talk about what’s really bothering you, instead of how loud the TV is.

3. Share your thoughts: Your hopes. Your fears. Your passions. Let your partner know who you really are.  Set aside some time each day just to talk about the things that are important to each of you, as individuals.

4. Be friendly: Treat your partner the way you’d treat a good and trusted friend: with respect, consideration, and kindness.

5. Resolve arguments together: When couples fight, it’s all too easy to get locked into a win/lose dynamic . Think of your disagreement as a problem for you both to solve, not a fight for you to win. Think of saying “we” before giving into the temptation of casting blame on the other person.

6. Show affection daily: Sex is one thing. Holding hands, a hug, a squeeze on the arm – all create connection and trust. If you’re not getting as much attention as you want, let it be known.

7. Focus on the positive: What do you

appreciate about your partner? What first attracted you?  What do you treasure about your life together?

8. Be supportive: Nothing kills a buzz like a negative or absent response to something you’re enthusiastic about.

9. Words plus deeds: Saying “I love you” carries much more weight when you consistently do things that your partner values.

10. Recognize that all relationships have ups and downs: Think long-term. Your relationship is an investment, like the stock market.  Ride out the down times. With the right kind of attention, they will be temporary.

11. Respect each other when arguing: It is all too tempting to use whatever ammunition you’ve got in the heat of battle.  Ask yourself, where will it get you? A partner who is likely to come to your side, or one who will get even more defensive? Ask your partner how he or she sees the problem.

12.Have each other’s back: and let that be known.

13. Set goals as a couple: Talk about how you want your relationship to look in a year, five years, ten years. Then work toward that goal.

14. Make your partner a priority: That is why you’re in this relationship in the first place.. 

10 SIGNS YOU ARE BAD IN BED AND DON’T EVEN KNOW IT


Every man wants to satisfy his woman in bed. And if you’re reading this article, you’ve already taken a step in the right direction toward making sure your partner is satisfied.

Of course, you probably clicked on this by accident because you’re unbelievable in the bedroom.

But just in case you could use a reality check, we sat down with Emily Morse, sexologist, host of the Se.x with Emily podcast, and co-founder of Emily & Tony, to find out what is it you’re doing wrong, and how to fix it so you’ll leave her wanting to come back for more.

10. You skip foreplay
The problem: You come home after thinking about se.x all day and try to stick your penis in her right away. She, on the other hand, has not been thinking about se.x. She’s been thinking about work, that squabble with her best friend, and what she’s making for dinner. She’s not warmed up, therefore she’s not going to enjoy it.

Fix it: “Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay—I can’t say it enough!” Morse says. You may be ready to go the second you get home, but you have to remember, se.x is mostly mental for women. They have to be warmed up, physically and mentally. “Most women not only enjoy foreplay, but we need it in order to get aroused before actual intercourse,” Morse says. Foreplay can even start hours before you’re through the door. Send her a text about how much you can’t wait to see her or how beautiful she looked this morning. Then when you get home kiss and caress her before you start taking her clothes off. Foreplay isn’t a suggestion; it’s a requirement for most women.

9. You don’t go down on her
The problem: You’re so excited about having se.x or you’re not thinking about her needs, so you weakly lick her cli.toris a few times or skip over going down on her altogether. You move straight into intercourse and, similarly to skipping foreplay, she’s not warmed up and therefore doesn’t enjoy se.x as much as you do.

Fix it: “Go down on her like you mean it! I mean, really mean it,” Morse says. “If you really want her to enjoy se.x, then you need to enjoy performing oral se.x on her. Just like nothing is se.xier than a woman who enjoys giving a blow job, nothing is se.xier than a man who enjoys giving oral pleasure.” Only about 25 to 30% of women orgasm through intercourse, and most of these women need (and likely want) cli.toral stimulation in addition to intercourse.

8. You don’t touch her after se.x
The problem: You roll over after se.x and tell her, “Sorry, babe, it’s just too hot,” then keep a foot of distance between you and her. Maybe you chat with her for a bit before falling asleep. Either way, you’re not up for cuddling. Or, maybe you are, but you’ve got a 60-second timer counting down in your head and never touch her for longer than that. She’s noticeably annoyed, or at this point you’ve both gotten used to the fact that you just don’t really touch after se.x.

Fix it: If you’re not someone who likes to touch after se.x, start off small and make some kind of physical contact a normal part of your after-se.x routine. Scratch her back for a little while and lay a little closer than normal. Once you’ve scratched her back for a while, move on to a closer touch. Cuddling after se.x will bring the two of you closer together. The most successful relationships have ties to after-se.x cuddling, according to new research out of the University of Toronto—Mississauga. “The way you approach your partner after se.x is really important to how you approach your relationship in general,” Morse says.

7. You’re afraid of doing something wrong, so you don’t try anything new
The problem: You’re stuck in your head during se.x. You’ve thought about trying a new position you read or heard about, but you’re afraid you won’t be able to execute the move correctly or you might lose your erection. Missionary and doggy style are tried and true, so you stick with those two, and you have the same se.x over and over again.

Fix it: Set aside your fears and replace them with passion. “Se.x is awkward, you’re getting na.ked with another person and putting yourself in the most intimate setting possible,” Morse says. There will be embarrassing moments and there will be things that go wrong, but making mistakes is better than not doing anything at all.  “Allow the passion of what you are experiencing to take over the fear of doing something wrong,” she says. “I guarantee your partner will find your passionate mistakes much se.xier than your flat routine.”

6. You’re basing her pleasure on your performance
The problem: You want her to orgasm in order to satisfy your own ego—because se.x is about you feeling satisfied with your own performance. As a result, she feels pressured to have an orgasm, which could lead her to fake it from time to time. This results in se.x that is no longer pleasurable for her, and is detrimental to your partnership in general, Morse says.

Fix it: If you’re too busy thinking about your own performance, you won’t think to ask your partner what she actually wants, and you won’t be able to learn how to actually make her orgasm. “A confident man will ask for direction and will learn what his partner wants,” Morse says.

5. You haven’t asked her what she likes
The problem: You approach every woman as if there is a formula, assuming all woman can orgasm the same way, and there is a simple trick to make that happen. You don’t bother to ask a woman what she likes or how she wants to be touched once the two of you step inside the bedroom.

Fix it: “Every woman is different, so you should approach every woman differently,” Morse says. Once you’re getting to the point of intimacy with a woman, it’s time to ask her what she likes. She may be making noises to let you know she likes something you’re doing, but there could be something she really wants you to do that she would tell you about if you just asked. “A woman is not a secret combination box in which you have to figure out the code, simply ask her and she’ll gladly let you know what she likes,” Morse says.

4. She hasn’t made a peep
The problem: When a woman is into it, she will say something, anything! Yes, there are women who aren’t loud in bed, but consistent silence indicates that she isn’t enjoying herself and possibly doesn’t think it’s worth it to speak up. “Silence after the fact can be another sign that she didn’t enjoy herself,” Morse says. If you’re lying there panting, telling her how incredible that was, and she’s got nothing to say, she wasn’t that into it.

The fix: Before things heat up, let her know that it really turns you on when she tells you what she likes, and what she wants. Afterward, skip the “Was it good for you?” and start the conversation by telling her which parts you really enjoyed. Then ask her if there was anything she especially liked, anything she would want more of or what she would like you to do differently.

3. She’s overacting
The problem: “If you’ve barely even touched her and she’s carrying on like a po.rn star, chances are she’s acting out more pleasure than she’s actually feeling,” Morse says. Reports show that roughly 80% of women admit to making se.x sounds and moans, whether they are actually going to climax or not. They’re doing this partially to enhance their partner’s experience, but also because they’re insecure about not being able to orgasm. “Either way, you should be the reason she is making sounds—and when the sounds and the movements don’t match up, something is off,” Morse says.

The fix: Let her know that it really makes you hot hearing that she is enjoying herself, but that you would like to know what specific things feel best for her.

2. You’re not addressing the obvious
The problem: You have some penis problems in the bedroom, but you never address them.

The fix: Talk to her about it. It’s already the elephant in the room and she notices that you’re not staying hard for long, experiencing premature ejaculation, or you just can’t ejaculate at all (delayed ejaculation). “Women are not as worried about this issue as you are, that is, until you completely ignore it, or worse, just let it happen and then roll over and fall asleep without giving a second thought to pleasing her,” Morse says. Let her know that this happens to you sometimes, and it doesn’t mean you’re not attracted to her or you’re unaware there is an issue. Tell her you’re working on it. You can even bring her into the solution: You need to slow down sometimes in the middle of intercourse, you’re working on strengthening your stamina, and you’d love her to be patient with you while you still do everything in your power to please her.

1. She told you she doesn’t orgasm EVERY time, so you don’t pleasure her once you’ve climaxed
The problem: You make the assumption that because you came, she came, too. Or you really don’t give much thought to it at all.

The fix: Rule of thumb: she comes first. Make sure that she is always pleased before you are. That way you can still have your happy ending knowing that she had her needs met as well. “Many men assume that just because they were satisfied, and she didn’t say anything afterwards, you had the green light to roll over and go to sleep,” Morse says. “If you’re not sure if she had an orgasm, she probably didn’t. And if you’ve never given any thought to her orgasm at all, you’ve got bigger problems.”  Just because you asked her once or twice if she was satisfied and she says something like, “No worries, I’m fine,” or she mentioned she doesn’t orgasm every time, that doesn’t mean she wasn’t incredibly turned on by you and still wants an orgasm, even if she didn’t experience it through intercourse.

Make sure that even if you’ve already released, you muster up the strength to please her whether it’s with your fingers, mouth, or a se.x toy. She’ll know that her satisfaction is important to you, and will feel more relaxed during intercourse knowing that if she doesn’t climax before you do, she’ll still have fun with you afterwards.


8 Lies That Destroy Marriage

Every wrong behavior begins with believing a lie.

Imagine meeting with an engaged couple a few weeks before they are married. With excitement they describe how they met and how their relationship developed. The husband-to-be proudly describes how he set up a perfect romantic evening so he could pop the big question.

Then they surprise you by saying, “We want to get married and have some children. At first we will feel a lot of love for each other. Then we’ll start arguing and hating each other. In a few years, we’ll get a divorce.”

Who would enter marriage intending to get a divorce? And yet, divorce is occurring at alarming rates. A large number of people in my church have been hurt deeply by divorce—they’ve been divorced themselves, or they’ve felt the pain of a parent or relative divorcing.

As common as divorce is, I’m convinced that most of them could be avoided. Mark this down on the tablet of your heart: Every wrong behavior begins with believing a lie. Our culture promotes many deceptions that can quickly destroy a marriage. Here are eight:

Lie #1: “My happiness is the most important thing about my marriage.”

As a pastor, I can’t tell you how many people have justified breaking up their marriages by saying, “I have to do this. God just wants me to be happy.”

But according to God’s Word, a spouse’s individual happiness is not the purpose for marriage.

The Bible says in Colossians 3:17: “Whatever you do in word or deed,” do for the glory of God. While all parts of creation are to glorify God, mankind was made in God’s very image. Through marriage, husbands and wives are to reflect His character and have children who will reflect His character … all the way to the end of time.

Every marriage knows unhappiness. Every marriage knows conflict. Every marriage knows difficulty. But everyone can be joyful in their marriage by focusing on God’s purposes and His glory instead of individual happiness.

Lie #2: “If I don’t love my spouse any longer, I should get a divorce.”

It’s a tragedy to lose love in marriage. But the loss of human love can teach us to access a deeper love—the very love of God Himself. That love is patient and kind … it never fails (1 Corinthians 13). It even cares for its enemies.

When human love dies in a marriage, a couple can enter into one of the most exciting adventures they’ll ever have: learning how to love each other with God’s love. Romans 5:5 tells us that this very love “has been poured out within our hearts, through the Holy Spirit.”

Lie #3: “My private immorality does not affect my marriage.”

A lot of people think, I can view pornography in the privacy of my home. It’s just me and my magazine, or computer … it doesn’t affect my marriage.

Oneness in marriage is hijacked by sexual immorality. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:15, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute?”

In the 21 century, there are many ways to join oneself with a prostitute: physically, through the pages of a magazine, on a computer’s video screen, etc. Paul’s advice is the same today as it was thousands of years ago: Flee immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18).

If you take your emotional and sexual energy and spend it on someone else, there will be nothing left for your spouse. Those who continually view pornography or engage in sexual fantasies are isolating themselves.

Lie #4: “My sin (or my spouse’s sin) is so bad that I need to get a divorce.”

The truth is God can fix our failures—any failure. The Bible says to forgive one another, just as God in Christ has forgiven us (Colossians. 3:13).

“But,” you ask, “Doesn’t Matthew 19:9 say that God allows divorce in the case of sexual immorality?” Yes. I believe that it does—when there is an extended period of unrepentance. Yet, nowhere in that passage does God

demand divorce. When there is sexual sin, we should seek to redeem the marriage and so illustrate the unfathomable forgiveness of God.

Some of the greatest life messages I know are the marriages of people who have repented from sexual sin and spouses who have forgiven them. Their lives today are living testimonies to the truth found in Joel 2:25: “… I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten.”

Lie #5: “I married the wrong person.”

Many people have told me, for example, that they are free to divorce because they married an unbeliever. “I thought he/she would become a Christian, but that didn’t happen. We need to get a divorce.” They recall that they knew it was a mistake, but they married anyway—hoping it would work out. Others claim that they just married someone who wasn’t a good match, someone who wasn’t a true “soul mate.”

A wrong start in marriage does not justify another wrong step. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good,” says Romans 8:28, “to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

God tells us not to be poured into the world’s mold. Instead we are to be transformed and that begins in our minds. By doing this, God will give us exactly what we need for our lives. God’s will for us is good, acceptable, and perfect (Romans 12:1-2).

Here’s the key for those who are now married: The Bible clearly says do not divorce (with the exception for extended, unrepentant sexual immorality). God can take even the worst things of life and work them together for good if we will just trust Him.

Lie #6: “My spouse and I are incompatible.”

I don’t know a lot of husbands and wives who are truly compatible when they get married. In marriage, God joins together two flawed people.

If I will respond correctly to my spouse’s weaknesses, then God can teach me forgiveness, grace, unconditional love, mercy, humility, and brokenness. The life of a person who believes in Jesus Christ is developed by responses to not only happy things, but also to difficulties. And those very difficulties include weaknesses.

That is why we are told in Colossians 3:12-13 to “put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other.” My spouse’s weaknesses are not hindrances. Instead, they are the doorway to spiritual growth. This is a liberating truth.

If I will respond to my spouse’s shortcomings with unconditional acceptance, my love won’t be based on performance. I won’t say, “You need to live up to these expectations.” I will be able to accept my spouse, weaknesses and all. And that acceptance will swing open the door of change for not only my spouse, but also for me.

Lie #7: “Breaking the marriage covenant won’t hurt me or my children.”

When divorce enters a family, there are always scars. I know this firsthand; although I was an adult when my father committed adultery and divorced my mother, decades later there are still effects. Many consequences of divorce never go away.

Blake Hudspeth, our church’s youth pastor, also understands the pain of divorce. He was 5 years old when his parents divorced, and it was hard for him to understand God as Father and to trust people. “The people I trusted the most split up.” He also found it difficult to accept love from others “because I didn’t know if they truly loved me.” And Blake developed a fear of marriage. “Am I going to follow the trend of divorce, because my parents and grandparents divorced?”

Blake’s father even wrote him and said, “This was the worst decision I made in my life. It was bad. It hurt you. It hurt our family. When I divorced your mom, I divorced our family because I broke a covenant that we were a part of.”

Blake says that his parents (who both remarried) have embraced the gospel, resulting in him readily accepting advice and encouragement from them. “Watching the gospel play out … with my mom and dad was huge,” he says.

Lie #8: “There’s no hope for my marriage—it can’t be fixed.”

This may be the most devastating lie of all. Because in more than four decades of counseling couples, I’ve seen God do the seeming impossible thousands of times. In a dying marriage, He just needs two willing parties. God knows how to get us out of the messes we get ourselves into.

I tell these couples about people like Chuck and Ann, who were involved in drugs and alcohol before God restored their home. Or Lee and Greg, who were engaged in multiple affairs. God brought them back to Christ and to each other. Now they have six children and a marriage ministry. Or Jim and Carol who had taken off their wedding rings and were living in separate bedrooms and about to live in separate worlds when God redeemed them.

If you begin to think, There is no hope for my marriage, realize that, “With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).

We must combat the lies about marriage. The truth will set us free (John 8:32). God can fix anything!

LADIES, DON’T BE DECEIVED! 10 WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR MAN IS LYING TO YOU OR NOT


Sometimes your partner in a relationship can decide to lie to you but there are certain signs that can expose him. Being in a relationship

means putting a whole lot of faith in someone who was, at one point, a total stranger to you.

It’s all a bit terrifying when you really think about it. So can you ever really tell what someone’s thinking and feeling, or if they’re being truly honest with you? Basically, no, is what we’ve learnt.

But there are some clues in someone’s behaviour as to how they really feel and whether they’re being honest. Here’s what to look out for…

1. Nil by mouth

Any attempt to cover their mouth – however apparently subconscious – could well be a sign that they’re uncomfortable with what they’re saying or hiding something from you.

2. Jesus takes the wheel

If your other half is suddenly spouting religious phrases like ‘I swear to Jesus’ or ‘God no’, then they may be trying to hard to cover something up.

3. The disappearing act

Watch their hands. Are they trying to make them disappear, possibly into their pockets, behind their backs or under their legs? If yes, this could be a sign that they’re hiding more than just their palms.

4. The key is in the detail

A common misconception about cheats and liars is that they can’t provide detail about their lie, but actually, they may go into too much detail. If they can’t stop talking and appear to be saying things as they occur to them, it might be that it’s all fabricated.

5. The eyes have it

You know your partner best. Are they finding it more difficult than usual to maintain eye contact? Then they could be feeling guilty. And if they’ve fixed an unusually strong stare on your eyes, they could be doing so in an effort to try to control your opinion of them.

6. Timing is everything

If there are noticeable pauses before they answer questions, they could be buying themselves time to think of a response. Equally, answering too soon and speaking quickly is an indication that they’re desperately trying to convince you of something.

7. Repetition, repetition, repetition

If they repeat more than one of your questions, they’re probably using the time to think of a reasonable answer.

8. They’re suddenly really honest

Are they suddenly being super honest but about something that you’re not actually asking them about? For example, you question who they had dinner with this evening and they’re more concerned with apologising for how much they spent on the dinner than discussing who they ate with. They’re trying to deflect attention by admitting to a lesser offence.

9. Pinocchio syndrome

Very strange but true: when lying, some people’s nasal tissues engorge, causing their noses to itch. So an unexplained sniff could give away more than you think…

10. Examine the evidence

And finally… take a step back and try to look at it objectively: ask yourself whether you’d believe their story if it was one of your friends’ partners. If it now sounds implausible, then it probably is.

17 VERY ANNOYING THINGS BOYFRIENDS DO

​“You annoy me more than I thought possible, but I love you and want to spend every annoying moment with you.”

Ladies, we know there are some things that men do that test your patience, and we are not saying all guys have these habits but we can guarantee that you have come across some of these in your relationships .

1. He never notices when you have a new hairstyle

2. He likes breaking news.

Like telling you “Oh I have to travel for a few days”, literally a few hours before the journey starts.

3. He always tries to give long uninspiring lectures on why watching porn is healthy for a relationship.

Because “knowledge is power.”

4. He dismisses you by saying “you’re overreacting” when you are genuinely mad about something.

 

5. And if you are not overreacting, then he asks “are you on your period”?

 

6. He gets REALLY mad when you talk to him while watching their favorite sports team play

7. He expects you to be friends with his friends, but will never want anything to do with yours.

 

8. And he also never remembers any of your friend’s names. 

9. He still keeps in touch with his exes on the low.

But hides if from you, because “it’s not really that serious, and he know you just wouldn’t understand”.


10. He never ever makes the first move to make up after a fight.

 

11. He says “but my mom did it like this!” when you do things the way they don’t like at home.

12. He thinks he knows everything at home with “Oh, that’s easy, I can fix it!”

 

13. And he desperately tries to fix any technology issues that comes up and ends up failing.

 

14. He makes very inappropriate jokes and expects you to laugh.

 

15. He never takes you anywhere interesting .

 

16. And when he does, he tags his friends along like you wanted to double date.

 

17. He burps in your face and thinks it’s the funniest thing ever!